Painful yet encouraging reflections

I pondered some of my pictures tonight of little Bizuayehu, our sponsor daughter. I miss her so much! I look at some of the pictures of our time together in November at Kind Hearts, Ethiopia, and am encouraged, yet so sad.

I am encouraged by the fact that we saw bare feet on the children and now they have shoes.

I am encouraged that they once had no food and ate from the mud pies they made to fill their empty bellies, but now eat a balanced rice dish daily.

I am encouraged that their teachers and children have regular visits from Children's Hopechest staff and with them usually comes letters from their sponsors with pictures and loving messages.

I am also encouraged that our little Bizuayehu knows that we love her very much and that she is ok and is able to get an education in her own country.

However, at times, I am not ok. I process new things every day and one of those things is that there are still so many children, like Biz, who still don't have water, food, a family or a home. If they have families, they live day to day with the unknown; will their sickness take their lives today? Will their children be ok? Will they be fed, have a family, get an education?

Sadness overwhelms me at times. I feel sometimes as if the trip to Ethiopia and my answered prayers for God to give me His eyes to see what breaks His heart was a curse instead of an opportunity. However, I also realized that true joy does not come without heartbreak and pain.

I have had the incredible experience these past few months of seeing people in this country get to experience loving these children through sponsorship, first hand. I've gotten to see people reach outside themselves and their own difficulties for the fatherless and motherless children. What a joy it has been!

I can't say that it has not been difficult to process what I saw and what still haunts me, yet I can say true joy has been the bi-product of these experiences and I wouldn't trade it for anything! I only pray and hope that others may know the potential that they all have when stepping out in faith and experiencing what may not be easy, yet can be the most joy you will EVER experience in this life.